Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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