normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
