Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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