There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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