Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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