can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
