"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
