Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
