yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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