I wish i was in the wii world.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
