my phone cant type all the emotion im having
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
