Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
