So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
