I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
