So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
