I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize