I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
