the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
