If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
