I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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