U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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