they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
