my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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