holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
