She went from zero to smokin in five shots
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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