just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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