Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I will pee on everything he values.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
