Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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