I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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