forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Send help, water and tortillas.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
