That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
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I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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