I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize