the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
