Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
