No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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