So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
