i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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