just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
