No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
