shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
