it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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