Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
