just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
