SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
