He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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