My boss' voice literally gives me gas
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
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thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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