Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
