Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
