My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
