dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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