You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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