I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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