the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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