She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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