How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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